Oh, the frustrations of food relations and exercise!

As we've already established, I am not good at balance... and my myriad vacations over the summer have taken their toll on my habits. The exercise I did couldn't keep up with the eating out, and I put on a few pounds. Thankfully, coming home and eating my home cooking has helped to take off a couple -- BUT, my Plantar Fasciitis is now acting up again and getting in the way of my running schedule.

I have gone on runner's websites to see how other runners deal with this uncomfortable issue, and I see that many of the runners are equally obsessed with continuing their running in spite of the flare ups. Yay! So I am currently following their example and trying to treat my foot while continuing with my running.

I'm excitedly training for my first half marathon in February, while trying to balance working with my husband and taking care of the family -- as well as getting the kids ready to head back to school.

Hopefully, come the end of August, I will have more time for blogging.

For now, though, just continuing to move in the right direction will need to be enough for me.

Of Some Things I Never Grow Weary

It's really a misleading title... I make it sound as if I have endless energy for certain activities, and this is certainly not the case. But there are some things of which I never grow tired. Ice cream, for one.

But right now, what I'm really thinking is that I never get tired of hearing I'm tiny. I don't believe it - not really. "Tiny," to me, is reserved for people who are petite and cute and - well - tiny. To describe a woman who is five feet, nine inches tall and who weighs (usually) 146 pounds as tiny is ridiculous. But I like hearing it all the same.

I went to get my oil changed in my car today. The gentleman behind the counter, after hearing I have teenagers, said, "Well, that's how you stay so tiny. Chasin' after them teenagers." I'm certain that I positively glowed. Tiny, tiny me. But my teens aren't how I keep in shape. I had teens earlier, too, and I was definitely nowhere near the same shape I'm in now... and hopefully I will be in better shape yet next year.

No... the way I stay "tiny" (oh, the joy to use that word myself!) is by occasionally saying no to myself when it comes to fun foods -- and by always saying yes to myself when it comes to activity. Do I have time for a run today? Why, yes... yes I do. Do I need to scrub my floors? Why, yes. I certainly do. Do I need that ice cream? Mmmm... debatable. In all honesty, sometimes I do, but usually I don't.

I strongly believe that treats are good for the soul. But if I indulge myself in treats on a daily (or hourly) basis -- they're no longer treats. They're a lifestyle. And a lifestyle of indulgence leads to despair -- no matter what we're talking about.

Seriously. Think about different ways people choose to indulge themselves. If a person's particular poison of choice is shopping, and one indulges themselves without control, they're BROKE. If a person loves sex, they end up with broken relationships and sickness. If they love food, they're fat and unhealthy. If they love exercise to the exclusion of all else, they're --- ummm... twisted and weird, and I guess they need to eat a LOT. But really, indulgence is not a lifestyle that is going to lead to happiness, contentment, and success.

Those are my thoughts for today.

That -- and go ahead and comment. Tell me I'm tiny. I love it.

Striving for Balance

Balance is something which does not come naturally for me. I admit it -- I'm a freak. Either I'm all in or I'm all out. Finding a happy medium? Hmmm... not usually my style. In many areas of my life, this works well for me. Marriage... all in. Motherhood... all in. Being "all in" on these things creates success.

Dieting... all in. Oops. I lost a bunch of hair. (Pause for a moment of silence.) Became thin! Yea! Success... but -- lost a bunch of muscle, causing me to work harder to get it back. So... go protein!! Ugh. Too much protein causes constipation (TMI, anyone?). Seriously -- when it comes to food issues and exercise, "all in" only works to a point. One needs to have some sort of balance.

So I am, I guess, "all in" for balance. Ha! I'm going to get my personality working for me one way or another.

I love my exercise. I really, really do. But I do not need to run six miles every day. Not only do I not need to do this, it's actually not good for me. So -- I'm trying to run about three times a week. Other days I can ride my bike (which will save my feet), or I can actually have a day where I relax (as much as any mom gets to relax).

When it comes to food, I am eating what is good for me -- along with a few things that admittedly are not. White wine, while good for my soul, is probably not ideal for my body. I still have some. And chocolate... well, who am I kidding. Chocolate is very, very, very good for me. :)

I also realize that I do have certain weaknesses that go along with my "all in" personality. First of all, I know that I am always "all in" for ice cream. Most kinds of ice cream, anyway. So I avoid having it around. My freezer has sherbet in it for the kids (yuck), and had peach ice cream in it for my husband (again, yuck). Vanilla cannot live here. I simply do not have it in me to reject my very favorite-est thing in the world.

So -- a striving for balance. We'll see how it goes. And no more crazy dieting. While I can stand to see the muscle loss for a bit (can always gain it back, right?), I cannot stand to lose any more hair. I really don't want to be the first woman to try the comb over.

Granola

Here's a problem:

Granola.

And don't snicker at me like that. Granola is an enormous problem. At 430 calories per serving, its tasty delightfulness is going to be the death of me. I'm not the only one in my family who likes it, so when I make it I have to make a huge batch. And then there's that much more of it for me to dive into. NOT GOOD.

But for anyone who wants to experience the taste insanity I have come to love, here's what I do:

8 cups rolled oats

1 1/2 cups rolled wheat

1 1/2 cups oat bran

1 1/2 cups wheat germ

1 cup packed brown sugar

3/4 cup light corn syrup

1 cup oil

1 1/2 tablespoons vanilla

1 1/2 tablespoons cinnamon

2 cups nuts (whatever kind you most adore)

2 cups chopped dried cherries

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

Mix the dry ingredients together until well blended. Mix the wet ingredients together in a separate dish. Pour the wet over the dry and stir for what feels like forever. Make sure that all the dry ingredients have been at least slightly dampened by the wet. Bake at 325, stirring at 15-20 minute intervals until it's toasted exactly how you like it. I usually end up toasting mine for 30-45 minutes. Allow to cool completely. Store in airtight container (I use a giant tupperware bowl).

After you've tried it and fallen in love, share the amazingness with all those around you. Infect the world with granola!! :)

Calorie Counting

Calorie counting can be a totally addictive practice. Call me exhibit A.

First of all, I use a website called caloriecount.about.com. It's a fairly extensive site -- lots of easy logging of foods, etc. They give you a daily analysis regarding your health choices, and this actually helped to put me on a path to healthier eating, which I consider definitely worth the cost of signing up (which happens to be free, by the way).

When I first began counting my calories, I estimated some. Then I bought a small kitchen scale and started measuring my food. Yes, yes... I know. I have already confessed, but I'll confess again. I have some issues.

But the food measuring actually turned out to be a very good thing for me. I can more easily know if I'm getting enough protein in my diet, for example. Or when I'm weighing my veggies, it amazed me just how much I had to stuff into my stomach in order for me to get a reasonable number of calories off of them.

Going onto a website and logging my food also helped me to see where my calorie weaknesses were. You know, what I was eating that was throwing me over all the time.

Then -- when you log your food, you have the opportunity to log your exercise as well. This was something that was significant for me, too. I mean, if I have to run a full hour at 6 mph in order to work off a piece of cheesecake, I'm going to think twice before eating it. This was a huge incentive for me to watch what I was eating... and, at times, a huge incentive for me to increase my activity level. Talk about a win/win situation.

If you're considering the possibility of getting on a website and logging your foods and your activities, I highly recommend you try it. There are a large number of websites out there to use - most of them free. I will caution you, however, that some of the "health" requirements on these websites can be ridiculous. (Prime example being that my CC website claims two eggs throw you into the unhealthy range.)

Anybody interested in getting started on something like this who would like some help and/or encouragement, feel free to send me a note!

Eating Paleo...lithic

I've been doing some reading, and I've noticed -- there's a difference between eating "Paleo" and eating in a "paleolithic" way. "Paleo" appears to be another fad diet, slightly reminiscent of Adkins, while a paleolithic focus just has to do with eating things naturally and staying away from manufactured foods and junk. Things on a paleolithic diet would generally be found in the produce department, the meat department, and the dairy department of the grocery store. You can count the freezer department as long as you're avoiding all the areas except the frozen veggies and fruits.

The Paleo diet claims that you should eat "in moderation" such things as diet soda... nuts... coffee... tea... wine... beer... Well, okay. I guess moderation in these things is a good thing. After all if you go crazy on the nuts, it becomes a serious high-calorie diet you're on and not a weight loss plan at all. And diet soda is definitely not good for you (not to mention it being completely unpaleolithic in every respect). But then the diet plan goes on to say that there's a laundry list of foods to completely avoid. Included in this list are foods such as: butter, cheese, yogurt, milk, barley, corn, millet, oats, all rice, rye, wheat, quinoa, beans of every variety, potatoes, sweet potatoes, etc... etc... ad nauseum. Included in their list are actually such obviously natural and healthy things like snowpeas and sugar snap peas.

On the other hand, eating in a paleolithic way is simply a common sense approach to foods. An if-God-made-it-I-can-eat-it mentality. This is refreshingly free of rules and restraints and confusion. It causes me to breathe a sigh of relief and say, "I can do THAT forever." How simple. Made in a factory = no. Made by God = yes. Ahhhhhh...

For most people, including myself, this requires a huge adjustment. There are things I am still consuming with some regularity that come out of a manufacturing plant. Greek yogurt, for one. My yogurt has been instrumental in helping me to achieve a stomach that functions without causing me pain and other unfortunate side effects which go along with IBS. (Anybody needing any more information as to what I'm curing will simply have to google it because I refuse to put it on this page.) My yogurt stays, and I don't care how or where it's made. That being said, I can make a shift to plain yogurt rather than the fruited, sweetened varieties and I will be a baby step closer to Paleolithic.

The truth of the matter is that even if I am not whole-hog gone for Paleo, the pieces and parts of it I have come to embrace have made me a better, healthier me. And since that's a step in the right direction, I will keep it.

Weight Loss and Being a Foodie

I'm a foodie. I can't help it. I love to cook and bake -- and eat. I frequently find myself on the internet, looking up recipes and just reading the ingredients and imagining them together. So... how does one take weight off - and keep it off - while being a foodie?

With baby steps.

For someone like me (who seems to have double the taste buds of everybody else), it's important NOT to try and make some huge, drastic shift from cooking with full fats to cooking with no fats. Anybody who tells you that you can eat a fat free ANYTHING and it will taste the same (or just as good) as a full fat anything simply cannot be trusted. :)

But realistically, a foodie such as myself can take one day at a time, make one change at a time, and learn to appreciate some different flavors and textures.

I also began introducing myself and my family to some new vegetables. This was actually an incredibly fun experience. Of course, there are some things that we have tried that immediately made their way to the trash. I still cannot get my head around the idea of eating okra for pleasure. And there is a huge difference between collard greens and turnip greens. But it's been fun to turn a vegetable hunt into a family adventure into the unknown.

I am still not a complete health nut. I currently have jelly beans in the house and have frequently been falling off the wagon and directly into that jar. But even with that, if I compare the way I eat today to the way I ate two years ago, the differences are astounding. But it all happened with baby steps. Just beginning to walk in a new direction, one step at a time.

As with anything else, diving in full-force is not something I would have found to be sustainable. But one step at a time, I have become a more healthy and more fit person. Do I have a long way to go? Sure! But tomorrow's another day. We'll deal with that when it comes up.

Physical Fitness

Have you ever heard of someone setting a goal for themselves (especially around January 1 of any given year) to "become physically fit?" I think having that as a goal is much like having a goal of "seeing the world." Sounds lofty, but it's rather vague. After all, if your goal is to see the world, how will you know when you've accomplished it? Once you've visited every country one time? Sorry... still haven't seen everything.

Likewise, having a goal of becoming physically fit is far too vague. What does it mean? A person who runs two miles a day is certainly more physically fit than a person who sits on the couch 24/7. But a person who runs marathons is probably more physically fit than a person who runs two miles a day. And that marathon runner... boy, that's physically fit, right? But -- perhaps not in comparison to the person who completes an ironman competition... who might not quite measure up to the Olympian... who... See what I'm saying?

My goals for myself are to maintain a lifestyle that ensures I am always becoming more physically fit and healthy. This simply means generally eating foods that are natural, many of them being leafy and green. This also means a consistent workout routine that I often find challenging, yet rewarding. If I can do one more push-up today than I was able to do last week, I am on the right path. If I am daily adding more junk to my diet instead of more healthy food, I am heading in the wrong direction.

I've decided there is no such thing as "physically fit" that can be attained as an end-all goal. But there is always another adventure around the bend in an endeavor to remain as fit and healthy as possible.

Maybe I'm just weird - and that's okay. But I find it much more rewarding to have a life-long goal that is incremental to the point where I can be a winner every day... every week... into the next year. There is very little discouragement to be found in living this way.

So -- if today you're a couch potato, sipping a Coca Cola and munching bag after bag of Cheetos, first of all you should make sure you wash your hands well. That Cheeto cheese is dangerous! :) And second, you should make your first step in the right direction. What's the easiest step for you to take today? Keeping the Cheetos but going for a walk? Staying on the couch but trading the Cheetos for carrots? Either way, you're making a step in the direction of good health. Once you've done that, you can take a different step a different day.

But don't bog yourself down and get totally overwhelmed because you have a lofty goal without definition. Just take a step. Eventually, you'll look back and be amazed at how far you've come.

Water -- My Best Friend

So yes, today I'm all about water. Actually, I've been all about water for a few weeks now. I know... for you fitness freaks out there, you're thinking -- only a few weeks?? But see, I'm a serious fan of caffeine. (head hangs in shame) I start my day out with two cups of coffee. You'd think that would be enough, right? But my habit had always been to switch from coffee to some form of diet soda. I've had several different favorites over time, but my ultimate appears to be Diet Mountain Dew. Of course once you've had coffee and Dew... then water doesn't taste like much. So perhaps a switch to some Crystal Light was in order. (I know, I know... sounding kinda bad, right?)

But I've been on this muscle building kick. And I discovered something wonderful. WATER. Our bodies are made up so much of water and I had been living my whole life mildly dehydrated. Wow. Who knew that drinking lots of water would actually help to boost my energy levels? (Yes, I know... the fitness freaks did... but who else?) The water doesn't flow out of my tap into a special container with a label to sell me on it, so how was I to know?

Okay, no I'm kidding. I really can take more personal responsibility than that. I knew darned well that our bodies are made up of around 60% water (on a good day). Some poor teacher with the very difficult job of teaching the likes of me probably imparted that info to me in middle school. And credit where credit is due, my mother has told me my whole life to drink water instead of soda. It was always a simple matter of me not wishing to give up a habit that was detrimental to my well-being and health.

Don't get your undies in a bunch, though. I'm not giving up soda entirely. I still have the occasional can of Dew. And as much as I'd like to imagine otherwise, I'm quite aware that paleo-man probably didn't have a cooler of Mountain Dew while he was hunting the wild beast of the North. So while I'm all about trying to eat in a more paleolithic fashion, I'm still quite interested in being reasonable here. :)

But back to water. Did you know that we can actually train our body to crave something? Seriously. It's true. I've done it, both with broccoli AND water now. (I'm working on fruit -- I don't know why that's so difficult for me.) I seriously crave water. I walk around now all day with a water bottle that I just keep refilling, and I am drinking on it all day. I'm up to about 96 ounces.

Water. For building muscle, for staying alert, for more running power... it does a body good.

Becoming a Runner

So today I'm going to talk about running. I love running, but alas... it has not always been so. My husband used to joke that the only way to get me to run was to strap some ice cream to the car and stay just ahead of me. In order for jokes to be funny, they have to have some truth to them, and this joke was funny. It wasn't entirely true, though. I probably wouldn't have run after that, either. I would have gotten into my car, driven to the store, and bought my own darned ice cream.

When I first started exercising, I was not able to run. I have a bum knee (which was a handy excuse for many years, if I do say so), I was carrying thirty extra pounds of weight, and it was all I could do to walk to the end of the street. I distinctly remember trying to do a fast walk up to the gate (about a half mile walk, largely uphill), and having my daughter laugh and tell me I sounded like I was dying. So my exercise did not start with running. It started with walking and wheezing.

But after I had lost a few pounds and the walking became easier, I decided one time to incorporate a small jog into the mix. I made it about half a block before I had to stop because I was gasping for breath so bad. But every day I walked, I made sure I jogged just a bit. You know, until I thought I was going to die -- then I stopped the jog and walked again. I felt so triumphant the first day I made it from the end of the street back to my house at a slow jog without stopping. Granted, it was all downhill... and I didn't have an easy time making it. But it was a milestone for me. (I have a highly competitive nature -- and I fixed it so that I was winning against myself.)

From there, I went to jogging as far as I could up the hill to the gate. Thankfully I live on a street that is largely deserted and I didn't have to worry about coming into contact with neighbors who would see me in my scary state.

I finally did make it to the top last summer. I, for the first time in my life, experienced the cardio high that I had heard so much about and thought was something people made up to get me to try exercising. It really does exist!

Long story shorter, I continue to try and beat myself. Um... wait. That doesn't sound right. I continue to compete against myself and WIN. That sounds much better. I've managed to become a runner and a winner... and yes, it helps that I'm running by myself. I'm pretty much guaranteed a win as long as I push myself a little harder or a little farther.

For the first time ever, I made it a full five miles, running at about six miles per hour. For dedicated runners all over the world, this sounds like a mere pittance. But to me... I'm a serious winner. And really, when it's about my health, my exercise, my body - what I think is what really matters.

Running. It rocks.

In a Nutshell

I cannot remember any time in my history when I have had a healthy relationship with food or exercise. Exercise was just something that "had" to be done (thus, it was no fun at all), and food was something that I either had control over or it had control over me.

I know there are people out there who can relate... Ever gone on a diet and taken off some pounds, only to put them right back on again (plus maybe a few extra)? Do that a few times, then decide - "I WILL conquer this... I will NOT put weight back on again!" Of course, for someone like me - mildly anal, slightly obsessive, and just a tad nutty - this meant going to what might be thought of as an extreme. Don't eat breakfast... that only means I've used up a good portion of the day's calories already... then what to do about the rest of the day?? Log every tiny piece of food that goes into my mouth. Count those calories and make sure I don't go over a particular amount (and, believe me, I can be very good at sticking to that).

This led to a bit of starvation on my part. For quite some time, the calories I was allotting to myself were considerably less than they should have been. And even at that, I wanted to eat some things that I considered enjoyable. So I would not "waste" my precious calories on silly things like fruit -- not when there was the promise of cheesecake if I abstained.

During the summer of 2011, a major change happened to me. I actually began to enjoy my exercise. And I mean, I really enjoyed it. I looked forward to it. And if I missed, I felt let down instead of guilty. Exercise actually became my friend. It was a long, hard road to get there, I'll be honest. But a shift really did occur, and I have enjoyed exercise ever since then.

This actually led to another problem, although I didn't see it as one at the time. All that exercise definitely changed my metabolism. I was running every day, and I could tell that my legs were less wobbly and beginning to look a little more like they could hold me up. Running rocks. I love it. But I realized I could eat considerably more and maintain my weight -- so around the holidays I really enjoyed quite a bit of... indulgence. I didn't gain weight, I still had people telling me I was "too skinny," which I loved, and I was eating my same old way -- watching the calories, making sure I worked everything off, and making sure I didn't "waste" my calories on things I didn't think I enjoyed.

So... you know what this led to? Yep... my legs continued to gain in muscle (truly we are an amazing creation... that my body managed to scrape what it needed to put muscle on my legs from the few nutrients I was feeding it), but my upper body became scrawny. I'll confess that initially I kind of liked it. I enjoyed so much feeling like I was getting thinner. Thinner was better. THEN -- I came across the story of a girl who had a story much like mine. But she had taken a new leap in a totally different direction. And she looked... AMAZING. She started weight lifting.

I've always been opposed to lifting weights. I mean, really... who wants to look like those freak chicks on the muscle mags? NOT ME. If I look like I can take down my husband, I don't view that as a good thing. I realize there are some women out there who do, and I respect their right to their own viewpoint. Me, though... not so much. But I figured out that lifting weights doesn't really change my body to that degree. I'll admit -- I'm not into the olympic power lifting. I've seen what those women can do, and I don't know very many men who would want to make them mad. But that's not what I'm after. (Pause for a moment to reflect... would I want men to be afraid to make me mad.... Hmmmm... okay, no. Not really.)

What I did decide, though, is that I don't want to be my thinnest, weakest self. I want to be my strongest, healthiest self. That looked so much different from what I was doing!

I'm not the buffest babe. And I'm not "totally fit," (and what in heaven's name IS that, anyway?). But I am now constantly in process to become the strongest, healthiest me that I can be.

My relationship with food (yes, seriously -- it's that bad -- we're "in a relationship") is much more healthy now. I guess you could say that I'm no longer in an abusive relationship, where either I'm abusing it or it's abusing me. I've been turned on to a more "paleolithic" way of eating, which is NOT a diet. And I still count my calories, but more to make sure that I get enough of them than anything else. I do, after all, want to make some muscle here.

So here I am, a woman in my 40s... having had a total epiphany about food, diet, exercise, weights, cardio, and LIFE. I want to live life -- to the full. I want it in spades. How in the world am I going to do that if I'm at my thinnest, my weakest self? Don't get me wrong... I am NOT about raising my body fat percentage. I'm currently running at about 20% and I think that's pretty fine. I AM about gaining muscle. Being strong. Being capable. Being the best me that I can be.